Perseveration and stimming from a distance

I’m a long distance parent, and, mostly I consider myself a decent parent – for the role I have in my son’s life, which is by no means that which society considers a mom should have.

Or me.  Over 13 years later, I really think I should be there in person more often.

Hey!  Hadn’t Roddenberry, Clarke and Kubrick promised us teleporter technology by now?  What gives scientific community?  Surely the demigods of classic sci fi could not have been wrong in there predictions.

Even worse – Lucas gave it to us a long time ago…

Moving on, since Toyotas are brilliant, but even they get cranky driving 500 miles round trip once a month, there was this one time when I got to be more than a decent long-distance parent, but a supercalifragilistic mom by advocating for my son. This is that story.

One of the tics and quirks of Autism is perseveration.  An autistic person’s mind will get locked on a topic and stay there.  They will talk about the topic non-stop.

For the last few months Leading Man #1 has been perseverating about an internet video game (we’ll discuss how it is an “M” game he was not supposed to have access to and how he bypassed his father’s internet security protocols blocking the site later.  I’m not done groaning over that one sufficiently to type about it yet).

My ex installed new industrial content blocking software on J’s computer, but I decided something more needed to be done.  I asked that my son’s IEP (Individualized Education Plan) be modified to address the issue.  My concern was that once J. stopped perseverating about Randy’s Empire, he’d go on about something else.

One well tapped email and a call to the principal later, my ex, myself and Stepmom received an email from the behavioral specialist at the school outlining their plan to assist my son and modifying his IEP.

I know, I know, all in a day’s work for a custodial, in person parent, but I did this from 250 miles away, on a break from my full-time workday.

Parents, but NCPs especially, need to celebrate our little victories.  We need to give ourselves credit for how involved we stay in our children’s lives.  We know it is all in a day’s work for us, but others do not.

I, especially, am thrilled when I can successfully advocate to make my son’s life better, on the spectrum and off.

Ergo, supercalifragilisticdistancemom!

—CMR 2012 & 2023