Non-Custodial Parent Worries: Every Other Weekend
After every visit with my son, I worry that I didn’t do everything I could with him…
November, 2019
The Mom and Child weekend is 3 days over. My son is back with his father. It was a “chill out” weekend. I didn’t have anything more than a rough plan, and even that I more or less scrapped. Money was a bit tight this month. I opted for the simple pleasure of hanging out with my son around the house for 3 days, except for a short visit to Minute Man National Historical Park, the site of the Battle of Lexington and Concord.
I wonder if Leading Man #1 minded that. I know this isn’t the weekend he expected.
He wanted to go to the grocery store, and to GameStop. I sent my husband to the grocery store and insisted on a hike through Tophet Chasm with the dog.
He wanted to go to a restaurant for pancakes and bacon. I made them at home.
Kiddo wanted to buy a Christmas tree. I opted for one of the fir trees in our backyard that needed clearing.
Kiddo wanted to go shopping for another pair of blue jeans. I decided that kiddo would quickly outgrow another pair of jeans before I saw him in December and did laundry instead.
We did go to the dog park twice. Kiddo seemed trepidatious at first – turns out he’s a bit leery of large dogs – but enjoyed it in the end. We also watched a Doctor Who movie, and saw the new Terminator movie.
Thank you Hollywood for Mackenzie Davis, by the way. We need more strong, intelligent, women kicking ass front and center on the big and small screen.
There was also none of the routine and chores I typically enforce when kiddo is visiting. I had no jobs for kiddo to do. I did the dishes and laundry myself.
So did I do everything right? Did I do my best for my son this weekend? Does every weekend have to be spectacular and adventurous, planned and set out in meticulous routine?
I start to feel guilty about all the things Leading Man #1 wanted to do, and the things I did instead, and decide, No.
No. I don’t need to feel guilty. I shouldn’t feel guilty. I should relish my time with the best and most important part of my life. I should savor every minute, pore over the pictures, and be happy. When you are a non-custodial parent, all the time you get with your children, even the unplanned, mediocre times, are still the best times.
Besides, this wasn’t so mediocre. It’s good just to sit and do nothing together on occasion.
Besides, I’ve got a whole month to plan December.
—CMR
